Sometimes I feel as if I am having one-of those-hard-days every day. Amy continuously takes toys away from the boys or Owen will take toys away from Amy/Aaron causing them to scream frantically and it usually ends up with Owen being pushed or hurt (more crying). And usually those kinds of days are accompanied by much disobedience from the children. Then there are days when Jett needs quiet to study, and to prepare sermons, which is doubly hard when kids are doing the above things. Topped onto that is all the workload of a regular housewife (laundry, dishes, making meals etc) and you end up with quite a tough day, or week!
Many times (or rather every time!) I look forward to the kids bedtime because afterwards I can begin to unwind, regroup, think in silence, and refresh my mind with the Bible, and any good book I might be reading. But then there are the days when one kid (like right now for example) refuses to sleep. Believe me, I am quite hard on my kids when it comes to bedtime, but when a little one really is crying uncontrollably there really isn’t any point in keeping the poor thing wailing in bed and possibly wake up the other two… but, it does mean less quiet time for oneself and sometimes after a particular hard day, it is a trial, perhaps unexpected and unwanted.
I have tried to get up earlier in the morning to get a bit of this quiet time and from experience I know it is extremely helpful, but my children are early risers, even if I were to put them to bed closer to 8:30 or so they would still be up at 7am and then I would have even a harder day dealing with their grouchiness. But, I do manage something in the mornings. One mother had said to me that she looks more to the Lord for strength for the day. And isn’t that nice? I was thinking how getting married, and having children has driven me more to my knees throughout the day because I realize how needy I (we) are of grace and strength when dealing with the children. It is not an easy thing to be training up little ones! Naïve as I was I think I’ve taken quite the crash course in learning that fact. And I have so much more to learn and experience. (Homeschooling here we come…!)
So, what are you learning about childrearing?
10 comments:
What? I can't believe these sweet faced children could ever give you a hard day ;o)
I can totally relate to this post, it sounds like you are describing my day (although I fear I do not go to my knees as much as I ought to). It certainly is not easy by any means, and it is very tiring. What am I learning though?
I would like to learn patience and grace each day. I am not sure how much I am learning, other than I am pretty terrible at what I have been called to do, and it highlights my failings.
Poor Ev. I was feeling sorry for myself thinking I had had a tough day - absolutely nothing done, Beth unsettled etc, had to go out for such a long walk to get her to sleep! But I realize reading your blog how easy I probably have it right now. It is tough being so alone isn't it? You really value just another pair of hands - and thats me with just one. Beth doesnt sleep much during the day but is reliably good at night so I am very thankful for that.
I guess this period where all your children are quite small might be the most difficult? I hope tomorrow is a better day. Thinking of you.
Mar
xx
Do what you can, and pray without ceasing.
"Without Me, you can do nothing"
This too shall pass.
"His strength is made perfect in weakness"
Anything worth doing is going to be hard work.
Parenting (esp mothering) is the hardest job in the world.
It is a spiritual as well as physical and mental and emotional battle.
And our personal family saying "it takes patience, perseverance and prayer".
Love
Hx
Wow, reading your blog today is exactly what I was telling my Mum today on the phone!(in tears) I feel exactly the same way. Apart from falling on my knees to the Lord, I have found lots of phone calls to my mum helps :)
Dawn, I would like to learn patience too!! I think I need to be exercising it much more than I do. I feel that childrearing has taught me more of my sinful self, and how needy we are of Him. Perhaps we are being taught more of ourselves in order to look away from ourselves to Christ.
Mar, I remember having my first child and it was difficult for the first bit. Everything is new and your still trying to get used to it all. Don't be so hard on yourself when you can't get much done (if anything in a day), your baby won't stay baby for very long so enjoy her when you can!
H, I like that! Patience, perseverance and prayer must keep that in mind! :)
Aww feeling for you Mel! *Hugs*
I have felt the same way---it has gotten easier because my kids are older now (7 and 4), but here I am about to add another one to the mix! Bedtimes are still really hard over here! Oh and I can relate to Jett needing quiet to study. Zac just started law school and when he is home he needs to "study". I just pray for patience and strength to get through each day! I also think about when the kids are grown and how much I will miss these days... I hope your days get easier but know you are not alone!
Thank you so much for posting this! You've described how I feel many days right now, and it's nice to know I'm not on my own. :)
The thing I keep remembering is how short this time really is, and how much I treasure this time in my children's lives, even though it's hard to deal with at times. I may feel like I'm going to go crazy a lot of days, and feel like I definitely am not doing a good job keeping the house in order, but Justin and I both feel that right now it's more important to have happy, healthy children, than it is to have a clean house, or even at times, a cooked dinner. If we have to have sandwiches for supper because I didn't have the time to get dinner on the table because I was dealing with one or two children instead, then we have sandwiches (and pasta is always a reliable fall back as well). In 20 years we're going to wish we could go back to when our little ones were the ages they are, so I'm just making the most of these early years and treasuring the time I have with my babies. They're growing up faster than I want them to!
What have I learned about childrearing? I have learned that my children will reflect me in sometimes alarming ways! For instance, when I am impatient and angry with them, very soon I will see that they are impatient and angry with one another. On the other hand, I am thinking of a mother I know who always speaks sweetly to her children with a smile on her face, even when she is correcting them, and what do you know, they are all sweet to one another and smile a lot! I hope and pray that I can grow in "sweetness" and see it reflected in my children!
I find that it is sooo helpful to have that quiet time first thing in the morning--things seem so much clearer and easier afterwards! But I forget so quickly, that I have to have a few minutes' reading and prayer again in the afternoon. The boys don't nap, but I put them on the couch with a stack of books and order them to be quiet. :)
Hey Sharon I have a feeling I know who you are talking about!! And your right! I wish I could be more like her re sweetness towards the children.
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