I feel...uhm, how do you put it? I feel wearied? Discouraged? Maybe some. Tired. But that is an always thing. Stressed, now that is more like it. Ok, partially stressed, and dreadfully wearied. Sounds awful. But sometimes this is just how motherhood is!! Can you imagine having your days filled with diaper changing (2 in diapers, 1 is potty trained), making meals, bathing kids, reading to kids, teaching them to play fairly, playing with them or entertaining them, feeding kids, cleaning up after they spilled all those noodles and spaghetti sauce on the floor, many times of running around the house destroying everything in his or her's path, finding out that the walls are a huge canvas just ready to be coloured on, many times of screaming, many times of fighting, many times of "I want sumthing to eat", and "I want DVD!", and then one of the children decide to not nap leaving him grouchy right about 4ish (thats when Mom needs to cook supper) so you sit child in highchair as you cook supper and feed him this cracker, some corn, oh here have some of this...and then before you know it the said child falls asleep in the chair. NO! Now said child will not go to bed on time....no, now he wants to play and play and get into things and make mommy feel as if she will never have time to read and relax after a stressful day of motherhood! Phew! Yes...sometimes this is motherhood.
So, I was naive. Before I got married, or rather before I had children, I had no clue what sleep deprivation was, or what it would cost the mom for day in and day out service to the kids, house and husband duties (not in any order here). I had no real idea what it meant for a mom to be a mom, and I had no idea how much energy, both emotionally and bodily it was going to take to even get through one single day. One single day. Wow.
But before you start feeling sorry for me, I want to point out that that is not my point I'm trying to make! I definitely feel for all those mothers who go to the grind every day (and night shifts too if they are nursing) for all their service it is hard work! I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to who else but my wonderful mothers! THANK YOU Mom for taking care of all the nitty gritty details of me as a child! Thank you for putting up with me as a toddler, as a teenager and even so as a young adult! Thank you for giving me your love, your work ethic, your hours of time, your advice, your nursing abilities when I was sick (and I know that was sooo many times!)....wow, I could add to this but I think the majority is said. And THANK YOU to my Mother in law for raising such a wonderful man as my husband. For doing all the things that made him to be who he is. For encouraging him towards whatever call he had, whether it was to art, to music, to studying or even more seriously to his occupation. Thank you for supporting his wife (me) in so many ways. I don't think you know how much this means to me!
So...that said, I LOVE YOU BOTH!!
And yes you are allowed to laugh. :)
So, I was naive. Before I got married, or rather before I had children, I had no clue what sleep deprivation was, or what it would cost the mom for day in and day out service to the kids, house and husband duties (not in any order here). I had no real idea what it meant for a mom to be a mom, and I had no idea how much energy, both emotionally and bodily it was going to take to even get through one single day. One single day. Wow.
But before you start feeling sorry for me, I want to point out that that is not my point I'm trying to make! I definitely feel for all those mothers who go to the grind every day (and night shifts too if they are nursing) for all their service it is hard work! I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to who else but my wonderful mothers! THANK YOU Mom for taking care of all the nitty gritty details of me as a child! Thank you for putting up with me as a toddler, as a teenager and even so as a young adult! Thank you for giving me your love, your work ethic, your hours of time, your advice, your nursing abilities when I was sick (and I know that was sooo many times!)....wow, I could add to this but I think the majority is said. And THANK YOU to my Mother in law for raising such a wonderful man as my husband. For doing all the things that made him to be who he is. For encouraging him towards whatever call he had, whether it was to art, to music, to studying or even more seriously to his occupation. Thank you for supporting his wife (me) in so many ways. I don't think you know how much this means to me!
So...that said, I LOVE YOU BOTH!!
Said child is now asleep in his bed
(this was an earlier photo of today but thought it suited the post)
(this was an earlier photo of today but thought it suited the post)
And yes you are allowed to laugh. :)
12 comments:
I agree that parenting is not for the faint hearted - and that it is far harder work than I realised too.
I think it is harder than any paid job in the western world (at least with paid work you can call in sick - grin, whereas for a mom to get a day off sick she has to be really really sick . .!) Or maybe that is just my experience.
But it is only for a short time; and time does pass quickly. (Ask your mom :-)) And it is important.
Hard work isn't easy. But it is worth it.
Love
Hx
Oh dear, I know what you mean..kind of. Obviously I only have two children at most, but it seems like some days are just SO overwhelming. Such as today when I spent my entire morning accomplishing next to nothing because Olivia screamed inconsolably and did not want to be put down for even a second.
I don't think any girl can ever appreciate her mother (truly) until she is a mother herself!
I must say... that last picture did make me laugh. Isn't it difficult when they don't nap when they need to?? I spent quite some time in the middle of the night on the couch with Olivia, because she went to bed about an hour and a half early and she woke up at about 3am, ready to socialize! :D
I MUST say, Ev--your children like to sleep in very funny positions and places! :-) LOL!
But that's JUST the thing: people say, "I got *nothing* done." In my opinion, cuddling your baby half the day *is* getting something done because you're providing a positive experience for your child and they will grow up more secure. :) I HIGHLY recommend the book "What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing." Please, please, please get a copy or borrow mine. :D You won't regret it!!
I like this post. :)
Don't forget that in a few short years, your older ones will be old enough to be of real help. I think that a well-trained child can be really helpful by the age of five. Elijah is only moderately well trained, but even he can be quite a help sometimes. :)
Have you ever come across the MOTH book? Managers Of Their Homes? It's a book about scheduling for Christian homeschooling moms, and the author has some useful tips to offer about keeping little ones occupied so that you can get things done. It comes with a schedule-making kit, and I have found it quite helpful.
That was an awesome post Ev. Couldn't have said it better myself. And yes that is a very sweet picture of Aaron. LOL!!
Henrietta, thanks for that, yes I need to look ahead but some days it is too hard to even do that. Even so, I don't want to start dreaming (too much) that it will be sooo wonderful when Amy and Aaron can do more work, when it may not happen "exactly" to my ideals and then I feel discouraged because I feel let down when in reality I was just dreaming too high (hope that makes sense!).
Sharon (the above comment is for you too) that book sounds like it was written for me...lol I like organizing things and having things laid out ahead of time...I work best that way (I think).
Leah, LOL I didn't even realize that some of my photos recently have been of my children sleeping in funny places or positions. Yes, I know people are often caught up in the attitude of not feeling they did anything, myself included. And I believe wholeheartedly that we DO LOTS though it cannot be seen, we are preparing young lives and that is an amazing thought! Thanks for the book idea, looks like another book I need to get! Yippie!
Rita, Hi! I didn't realize you read this old blog of mine, lovely to see you on here!
I love the picture on the top of this page. Absolutely beautiful except for the pacifier's.
Yes, all mothers should read the book Leah mentioned, which is by Naomi Stadlen. I first found it in our local library and found it very encouraging and inspiring. I felt it was a must read for all first time mothers, and even those who have been a mom for some years even - you'll still enjoy it! It's this here on Amazon, and you can even see a sample page or two:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1585425915/
I agree with Sharon about it not taking very many years for children to be quite helpful. It's great to be able to have a daughter who can completely set the table for me! I just put all the things onto the kitchen counter (since most things are too high for her to reach) and she lays everything out (in their proper places even!) on the table. And she's very good at getting things for me if I'm in the middle of a diaper change or other involved activity! :) Last night she was clearing off the table for me after dinner and happily announced "Mummy, when I'm 5 or 6 I'll be able to wash all the dishes for you!" :) So it's nice to know that she's thinking positively about helping out - though tidying up toys after she's playing isn't exactly her most exciting chore! ;)
And I think my mom found that life did get easier even with having more children, as by the time she had 5 or 6, the older ones were capable of doing quite a lot. So (in my opinion!) a lot of mums seem to get exhausted with their 2 or 3 children and think they couldn't possibly cope with anymore! And yet they don't realise that by the time they've had 6 or 7, life might actually be easier than when they just had 2 toddlers/babies! :D
(tho I think I need to be saying all this to myself [grin], as I'm feeling exhausted after 10 days of poorly children with cold/flu & now the boys seem to have developed croup!)
Hope you're all spared the viruses that seem to be *everywhere* at the moment!
I like what Mrs. Turnbull said. That out of all of the jobs in the western world, the mother's job is the hardest. So many feminists nowadays talk about how dumb it is to just watch kids your whole life.
But my experience partially running the house when you had your baby teaches me that one of the toughest, worthiest, and most honorable jobs there will ever be is being a mother. Kudos to you for being a mother. It's a great service!! :)
Ev... this post keeps making me cry, LOL! The comments are even worse in that dept. We're having a really rough time with Rebecca right now. She doesn't talk, so she can't tell us what's wrong, and she keeps having little screaming fits (night and day) about nothing! At least... to our knowledge. She's always well fed, appropriately attired, in a clean (or clean enough-- might be damp) diaper, and the only explanation that is potentially there is maybe she's tired, but even that doesn't work, since she's been sleeping the same amount for the last 7 months. There have been times in the last couple of days where she just bursts into tears and wails away for no reason at all. She'll be playing with us one minute, and just bend over or turn around to do something and stand up and be in tears afterward. It's becoming very trying... and I keep crying when she does too, lol. Can you tell it's becoming a rather emotional thing around here?! But, I do keep telling myself that even if all I get done is making supper and tidying the toys and books, if I spent the day cuddling/nursing/playing with Rebecca, I've done something that is going to matter much more in the long run than what chores I failed to get done that day. :)
Anyway, in looking for ways to organize my house, and make it look at least a little more put together and orderly on an every day basis, I did consider MOTH briefly... but it looks way more structured than I would be able to deal with, because it seems everything is scheduled into time blocks and stuff, and my life, with a toddler (who doesn't generally nap, and definitely doesn't do so predictably!), doesn't allow me to predict even small time blocks of my day. So... my mother helped me get organized over the last week while she was here, using the system designed by the people who run the "flylady" website. They have a book called "Sidetracked Home Executives" and everything in the system is just put on various coloured index cards, and filed under dates and months... and the thing about the system is, if you don't get it all done, you just file it for the next day/week/month... wherever it would come up next. Interestingly, as we made the "daily" cards up, I discovered that though they might not all get done daily right now, I actually would normally accomplish at least 50% of the cards every day without something telling me I needed to, and by the end of the week at least most of the cards were done 2-3 times. Makes me feel like I'm actually getting a lot more done than I thought I was! Even better... It even LOOKS manageable to me! :) I like that you can take the system and make it your own, and if you need to tweak it it can be tweaked... and I don't have to *schedule* my day. We have enough scheduling around here with a child, various (adult) volunteer/learning activities, Justin's work, and my teaching piano lessons that I don't need something else to tell me that I'm supposed to have gotten 1 hour of cleaning or whatever done when for whatever reason it didn't happen, lol. :) Anyway... I highly recommend at least reading the book, even if you did go with MOTH (or something else!) afterward.
And, as for bigger kids helping out more... it actually does happen, but don't expect to just give them the task and leave them to do it until they're at least 10-12 years old, lol. :) My niece and nephew LOVE to help me out, but at 5 and 7 yrs old they don't want to be told "go do", they want to "do with". So while I can tell them to pick up the things on the floor, or sweep the floor (such as Amelia's sweeping job is, LOL), I can't hand them a cloth and tell them to clean the bathroom/windows/walls/whatever. We worked together on things a lot over the summer, and quite honestly, just having two bigger kids to pick up toys, put books back on shelves, set/clear the table, and help with dishes was a HUGE change in our home. :) I often wish I could have one of them back... permanently! ;)
I agree 100% It is the hardest job ever, but I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING. What an honor that God has entrusted us with these little souls to raise up in honor and glory of Him. Keep doing what you are doing---most important job ever. I love the pictures!
Post a Comment